“Fear is the path to the dark side…fear leads to anger…anger leads to hate…hate leads to suffering.” Yoda, Star Wars
OMG (not even my daughter uses that expression anymore – but somehow that silly expression feels appropriate given the situation)!!! What just happened? This is the question that keeps coming to my head… What… What… What????
This is not true.. this is just another media scare, this is nothing BUT… BUT the world seemed to change overnight. And everything is different!
Greece did change. The world changed! I remember last Saturday things still felt challenging but normal and then by last Wednesday I realized that the situation is extraordinarily alarming. And now, today, a week later, Greece is in shutdown. I never imagined that this would ever happen!
As Trevor Noah said on the Daily Show in the United States “Life as we know it has been cancelled”
You probably told your kid not to see his/her friends, not even close ones: I did.
You probably shut down your business and switched to online: I did.
You probably shopped more than usual: embarrassingly I can say I did.
You probably stopped seeing your friends: I did.
And so many other “normal” things have been cancelled.
If you think about it, never in our recent history have we been globally asked to go inward: physically contain ourselves. Staying IN seems the only way OUT of this madness called corona virus. So, as the corona virus spreads and we are universally asked to stay home, our lives are inevitably slowing down. Let’s look at this as an opportunity to go inside ourselves.
For those of us trapped in our fears we can see that as an invitation to know ourselves in line with the famous Greek aphorism “know thyself”, that was inscribed on the temple of Apollo at Delphi. For me the journey of “know thyself” is a journey from fear to love. And that journey couldn’t be more relevant to what we are going through right now. But let’s take a closer look at that.
“Know thyself”: What does that even mean? We can all agree that the Ancient Greeks could have been a little bit more explicit but this ancient oracle wanted to leave people puzzled. Can you imagine an ancient Greek going to the oracle of Delphi, looking for guidance and getting a cryptic message like that? The look on their face?! All confused….
From the little that I know about how the mind works these ancients were onto something (they were not just too lazy to say more words). They knew that confusion is a first step toward knowledge. Confusion breaks what we think we know in order that we will be able to see a deeper truth. Confusion uses another part of our mind, one that is not intellectual. It’s the deeper part of our mind, that we all have, and it lies under the intellect.
The only problem with this laconic expression is that it is susceptible to 1000 interpretations in modern times. I am sure there are whole conferences at which Professors of the Classics professors fight over just these two words. Now, because I have a lot of time on my hands these days, after all my social activities are cut to zero, and because I love looking at ancient Greek wisdom through the lens of the Three Principles, I am going to do my fair share of free speculation about what this ancient riddle may have meant.
As I see it, “thyself” cannot mean your personality, your ‘ego’. It cannot be as simple as, I am Sofia, I am a mother and a coach, I am usually very open with people, but I lack discipline and patience etc…So “know thyself’ could not just mean to know my strengths and my weaknesses as a person. Either the ancients were very stupid to ask the obvious or we are missing something here.
If the above is true, then the ancient saying “Know thyself” speaks to a deeper, more impersonal, fundamental level. It goes to the heart of how all human beings work, into our spiritual origin. The part of ourselves where all inspiration comes from. It feels more real than the ego. It’s based on love, creativity, clarity and peace of mind. When it is that part of me that responds to anything that comes, I see the solutions. I am aware of the steps I need to take and I know in my heart that “this too shall pass”. This is the true self and wisdom that most of us are looking for.
On the other hand, we all have this other part of ourselves – we might call it our ego – which is nothing more than us buying into our fears and insecurities. When we are there, in that other part of ourselves, we are usually reactive: we see only problems, and we act neurotically and in panic (you know, like Woody Allen in most of his movies). How do we know we are here, in our ego? Our feelings tell us. We don’t have a calm, positive feeling. It usually feels uncomfortable. We might call those feelings anything from anxiety, disappointment, panic, fear, sadness, or depression to feeling simply lost. Those feelings are normal, nothing to be afraid of or push away. The problem is that most of us take these feelings as a sign of whether or not our life is going in the right direction. Really, they have nothing to do with that. They only are a message, an indicator about our state of mind. That’s it!
The good news about these “uncomfortable thoughts” is that they always pass. You never see a feeling that we have stay forever. If you observe young kids, you can see that their state is very fluid; they allow emotions to flow through them without analyzing or giving meaning to them. Why is it different when we grow older? What happens and what changes? We start building an ego. That was not there when we were born. We start reacting to certain feelings that we don’t like and when we do that, as a consequence they stay longer.
The problem with our fearful thoughts is that they are so tempting, like the Sirens in the Odyssey. They allure us with their seductive songs and because their logic is so tempting. So, when this part of ourselves speaks, it takes strength not to listen. This strength comes from inside of ourselves when we know deeply that fear and the siren’s song is an illusion and does not lead to wisdom.
Especially these days, I see this aspect of myself coming up and I get so scared and worried if I think about:
-my grandmother who is 93 who has just miraculously survived a lung problem
– my parents who are both in the high-risk category
– my daughter, who in 1 day, will have her 15th birthday and I am not sure about the effects of her being in isolation for so long.
– the world and what will happen to all of us, to the economy and the lives of millions.
(I could go on and on for days stating my fears…)
BUT… We don’t know what is going to happen, no one knows. Staying present to what is happening NOW and not getting lost in our fears is the best advice that I can wish for anyone.
Why? TWO REASONS:
1. When we have fear it is proven that our IQ lowers. We do so much better when we have clarity and common sense than when we are in a fearful state of mind. We need that clarity to make the right choices for our families and the world in this time of crisis. Do you know anyone who ever thrived under panic? I don’t.
2. Prolonged fear and stress produce more cortisol, and cortisol lowers our immune system. We are more susceptible to catch the corona virus if we don’t have strong immune systems.
What my intention is: when I catch myself being fearful, anxious or worried, I will not take the thoughts that come so seriously. When I don’t believe in those thoughts and the stories they tell me, (like I don’t I believe in the Netflix series that I am watching right now), life becomes easier.
I have experienced the truth of that again and again. Have you noticed that if you don’t take your fears seriously they pass really quickly? This is how it works, not just for you and me, but for everyone. It’s when we believe in our fear that it stays.
The best thing about this is that when we drop out of fear there is so much hope. Hope that even if our “normal life has been canceled” our peace of mind hasn’t. What Yoda implies in the first quote might be true: suffering is optional, even in the challenging times that we all are going through.
